Candidacy

That’s a great point, Terry, but not one I want to talk about. Instead I want to focus on America’s most
xxxxxxxxpressing problem: dragons.

The science is in, Terry. Dragons are among us, with their impenetrable skin and unpronounceable
xxxxxxxxnames, blowing fire on hardworking single moms.

Their wings are huge—God, twenty, thirty times bigger than anyone imagined—and their eyes flicker
xxxxxxxxlike swamp-gas jack-a-lanterns. They’re taking our livestock, our lives, our very way of life—
xxxxxxxxjust eating us for breakfast, Terry, and that’s not a figure of speech.

They have unintelligible names and are all but impervious to your average home arsenal: you’d have to
xxxxxxxxown a, uh, a bazooka to protect your family, and even then, some of them just grow back new
xxxxxxxxheads when you blow them off. Just grow them right back.

If climate change is real—and I’m not saying it’s real, Terry, there’s a very healthy, very active debate
xxxxxxxxabout that in the scientific community—I’d guess it’s probably attributable to these dragons with
xxxxxxxxtheir infuriating names blowing fire on hardworking single moms. I mean, you can’t just burn
xxxxxxxxAmerica to a crisp like a rasher of bacon and expect it not to crank up the global temperature,
xxxxxxxxam I right, Terry?

I read this one story—you can find it online yourself, it’s on the front page of the internet—about a
xxxxxxxxdragon with some brutish name literally swooping down on a hardworking single mom, snatching her
xxxxxxxxbaby right out of her arms, tossing it in the air, and bolting it down, one bite. I’ve seen the
xxxxxxxxcell phone footage—I mean, it’s amateur stuff: clearly, it’s going to be blurry—

and I’ll tell you, Terry, it just breaks my heart. It puts the fear in me. I’m not just feeding you a line: it
xxxxxxxxought to put the fear in all of us.

I know America’s facing a lot of problems right now, Terry, a lot of problems with no easy solutions, but
xxxxxxxxI think there’s one thing the whole country, and especially its hardworking single moms, can get
xxxxxxxxbehind in these confounding times:

kill the dragons. Kill the motherfucking dragons.