abattoir errata

< the daughters / on sally jessy / were occupation

babies / half korean / half german // nobody

said rape in the ’80s // the daughters / broke through

dead mothers / & were drop-dead

gorgeous / lashes

/ heavy like palm fronds /

feathered bangs / over doe

eyes // man-eaters // they could

kill / anything //

they killed /

my mother // every time

the audience would clap us

into commercial breaks

& the fathers whispered / so beautiful

into jeweled / ears /

mama’s body would bolt

to curl on the bathroom floor //

we wrapped our gritty

arms / around her

stove-sweated back / our breaths

tart with breakfast / on her neck

she would let us / hold her

then / pull quickly / away //

my first taste

of longing / vicarious /

ache of maple / in the mouth //

sometimes you need

to be loved

/ by what you’re not

obligated /

to feed //

when she bought the first car that could

get us farther than pines road /

we drove to deberry / texas // though we’d never

been / she knew the way // pulled up

blew the horn / like her friend / janie /

backing out of our driveway //

as a kid i thought horns meant /

i have not forgotten

the way / you made me

feel / i will come back

for it / soon //

inside /

someone said / he out back / should be in

/ in just a few / we waited

in my mother’s father’s

house / it seemed / like hours / staring

at wood / paneled walls / that ran

from the kitchen to closed-off

parts / each / room / silently / spoken

for / with scuttling feet / my first look

at scansion

/ finally /

my mama got up / my sister

followed / her eyes blinking

with oil sheen / dripping from her

bangs / my lenses blackening

with sunlight // mama’s church shoes

sinking into the stubbly / loam

what a ragtag bunch we must

have been / since love wasn’t

/ the one / looking // we found him

crouching behind the / toolshed

he grinned / stretching / his grizzled

upper lip / an inside joke / only he

& my mama knew // she smiled // they talked

a little while / old / friends //

when we crossed

the state line / she

didn’t blow / just said /

I won’t be bothering him

again //

sally jessy / still blared

fathers still misfired

embraces / flowers / apologies /

whispering beautiful /

one last time

into frosted hair //

/ the daughters

still cried //

my / mama

too // sometimes

the men //

i don’t know

why /

they ever / thought /

the knives

they carried / the game

they felled / the stories

/ all cock / and bull /

could ever cleanly hollow

/ bleeding / things / >