Guest Edited Comics

Hold Your Breath

by Jennifer Murvin

A black and white drawing shows a car passing a sign on the road on the top half of the panel. The sign says, "Santa Susano Pass Road NEXT EXIT, Exit 32." There is a rough, small hill behind. The top half says, "IN 1959, THE SANTA SUSANA FIELD LABORATORY, SET IN THE SOUTHEASTERN HILLS OF SIMI VALLEY, CALIFORNIA, SPILLED 28 CURIES OF RADIOACTIVE NOBLE GASSES INTO THE EARTH AND AIR," The bottom half shows the road again. The car is gone. The text reads, "LET LOOSE LIKE WILD CHILDREN INTO THE DARK. (THREE MILE ISLAND SPILLED 22 CURIES)" The bottom says, "HOLD YOUR BREATH" by Jennifer Murvin

This panel shows the landscape again. It is rocky and sparse with small patches of grass. The text reads, "NO ONE WOULD KNOW ABOUT THE SANTA SUSANA FIELD LABORATORY DISASTER UNTIL 1979, FOUR YEARS AFTER MY PARENTS MOVED INTO THEIR FIRST HOME JUST A FEW MILES FROM THE SITE, AND TWO YEARS BEFORE I WAS BORN, THOUGH THE SCOPE OF THE EVENT IS TOXIC AFTERMATH HAS ONLY BECOME WIDELY KNOWN IN RECENT YEARS. WHEN I WAS FIVE, WE MOVED ACROSS THE VALLEY, TO THE WEST SIDE. THE FIELD LAB CONTINUED TO OPERATE UNTIL 2006 AS A TESTING SITE FOR ROCKET ENGINES AND NUCLEAR RESEARCH."

This slide is divided into thirds. The first third shows a rain chime hanging on a porch, plants, and porch railings behind it. The text reads, "HOW IT WOULD BEGIN: (OUR NEIGHBOR'S RAIN CHIME- HER BROTHER DIED OF CANCER AT AGE 21.)" and it points to the rain chime. It continues, "(HE- THE BROTHER- AND HIS FRIENDS RODE BIKES IN THE SANTA SUSANA HILLS GROWING UP IN THE LATE 60s.)" The next two-thirds both show a dog in slightly different positions; there is no background. The text says, "A LIGHT STEADY SHAKE OF OUR HOUSE, A RUMBLE, WHICH REGISTERED IN OUR BODIES AS AN EARTHQUAKE UNTIL MOM WOULD SAY, "JUST ROCKETDYNE!" WHILE "INTERVIEWING MY NEIGHBOR, I PET HER LITTLE DOG. SHE HAS SEVERAL HORSES. SHE SAYS SHE'S NEVER CONSIDERED MOVING) (SHE TALKS OF HER BROTHER IN THE PRESENT TENSE. HE HAS BEEN DEAD OVER 40 YEARS.) (FIVE OF THOSE BIKE-RIDING BOYS DIED OF CANCER BEFORE AGE 25.)"

This panel shows a road through a different landscape. A sign on a fence at the mouth of the road marks it as private property. There are trees. Text reads, "JUST ROCKETDINE!" IN WHICH CASE WE MIGHT RUN OUTSIDE TO LOOK-OUT FRONT IN THE CULL DE-SAC WHERE THE VIEW OF THE MOUNTAIN CREST WAS VISIBLE ACROSS THE VALLEY, DOG FOLLOWING, ANY EXCUSE TO RUN OUT OF THE HOUSE AND ONTO THE CAREFUL GRASS, WATERED ONLY TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS IN THIS DROUGHT, BAREFOOT ON HOT PAVEMENT, MAYBE OVER TO THE HORSE TRAIL WHERE THE DIRT IS CoOLER, AVOID THE HORSE POOP, DRIeD EUCALYPTUS CRUNCHING, MAYBE TAKE A LONG PEEL OF BARK FROM THE TRUNK, INHALE ITS SPICY SWEET SCENT."

A vertical line divides this slide in two. On the left, there are no drawings except a tiny, crouched child in the bottom left. The text reads, "WHAT WE'D SEE: WHITE BILLOWING SMOKE AGAINST A CARTOONISHLY BLUE SKY." On the right side, there is a tree, its roots growing against a fence.

This panel is divided into four, each of the four focused on the child from the previous panel. They show her as she plays in the dirt. The text reads, "OR: IGNORE IT. NO EARTHQUAKE. NO DANGER. OLD HAT ROCKETDYNE IN THE OLD HAT HILLS, A GAME OF DRAW A HOUSE IN THE DIRT, SET THE TABLE FOR DINNER TONIGHT, FILL THE WATER GLASSES."

This panel shows a person walking a dog down a road, with plant life on both sides. The text says, "LEARNING LATER EACH TIME, EACH TEST, STIRRING THAT DEEPLY POISONED LAND, RELEASING HISTORY INTO THE AIR, DOWN INTO THE EARTH, INTO THE WATER, SKIN AND BLOOD AND TISSUE. MAYBE ONE THING: MY MOTHER'S BREAST CANCER, BUT CAUGHT EARLY, CAUGHT EARLY. MAYBE ANOTHER: MY GRANDMOTHER'S COLON CANCER, BUT CAUGHT EARLY, CAUGHT EARLY."

This slide is broken into three. The first two are blank except for words, which read, "MY GRANDFATHER WITH HIS ONE LUNG REMOVED, BUT HE WAS A LIFELONG SMOKER, OF COURSE, AND LIVED IN SIMI ONLY NINE YEARS, AFTER ALL? MAYBE. THE NAME ROCKETDYNE INSPIRING VISIONS OF YES, ROCKETS! A SPACESHIP LAUNCH, EXPLORATION, INNOVATION, MYSTERY, THE STARS, INFINITIES OF SPACE. THERE! UP THERE! IN OUR HILLS." The third panel says nothing, but shows the child from before stepping across stones.

This slide shows another angle of the child walking across stones. She is small, her hair is in a bun, and she wears a dress. She holds onto a low-hanging branch above her head. It says, "IN THE DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THE DISASTER CALLED "IN THE DARK OF THE VALLEY," MOTHERS HOLD THEIR SICK CHILDREN, DESPAIRING."

This panel is divided into four. The first shows a fruit and says "CALIFORNIA WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SORT OF DREAM. POMEGRANATE:" and points to the fruit. It continues, "A SYMBOL OF FERTILITY." The second fragment only says, "A KIND OF PROMISE." The third section shows a girl walking towards a fruit tree and shows an arrow pointing towards the tree that says "grapefruit". The text says "A symbol of immortality." The last panel shows a hand wrapped around a leafy branch and reads "AVOCADO: A SYMBOL OF PROSPERITY."

This page is divided into fourths. The first has no drawing, and the remaining three all show a bird, sometimes still, sometimes in flight. The text reads, "NASA AND THE DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY ARE IN CHARGE OF THE FIELD LAВ CLEAN UP, BUT THEY FIGHT ENDLESSLY, WHO AND WHERE AND HOW MUCH. CALIFORNIA'S WILDFIRES MAKE IT ALL WORSE. IN 2021, SOME ASHES AND DUSTS COLLECTED FROM THE WOOLSEY FIRE ZONE IN THE FIRE'S IMMEDIATE AFTERMATH CONTAINED HIGH LEVELS OF RADIOACTIVE 1SO TOPES ASSOCIATED WITH THE SANTA SUSANA FIELD LAB." ASH FALLS LIKE FLAKY SNOW INTO MY PARENTS' YARD, POOL, COATS THEIR CARS WITH A FINE MIST. AS A CHILD, I WOULD NOTICE HUGE CROWS FLOCKING TO OUR CUL-DE-SAC IN THE EVENINGS, COVERING THE HORSE TRAIL FENCES, LIGHT POLES, ASPHALT. THE POETS KNOW A GATHERING OF CROWS IS CALLED A MURDER. SCIENTISTS USED TO BE CALLED PHILOSOPHERS. THE CHUMASH CALLED SIMI VALLEY SHIMIJI AND TA'APU. VALLEY OF THE WINDS."

The last page shows a girl filling up a glass of water, an action divided into four sections. She fills it and takes a sip. The text reads, "ARE THE CROWS WATCHING THE SMOKE RISE? ARE THEY DREAMING OF SPACE? THEY CARRY SOIL ON THEIR CLAWS AND DUST ON THEIR BEAKS. THEY ARE SCREAMING AS THEY FLEE. TIME FOR DINNER, MY MOTHER CALLS. SET THE TABLE. FILL THE GLASSES. WE ARE SO THIRSTY." end.

Jennifer Murvin is the author of the short story chapbook She Says (Small Harbor Publishing), graphic memoir chapbook False Alarm (GreenTower Press), and story collection Real California Living (forthcoming Braddock Avenue Books). She is an Associate Professor of English at Missouri State University, and she also teaches at the Solstice Low-Residency MFA Program in Creative Writing at Lasell University. Her work appears in Nashville Review, Fractured Lit, Laurel Review, and Fourth Genre.

FROM Volume 75, Number 2

Issue 75.2, Spring 2026

Hold Your Breath

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